Friday, June 5, 2009

Good, Old fashoned manners

While visiting with Darin's parent's today, at the rest home Bob is at, I was given a glimpse of what life must have been like for women "back in the day."  Yes, they were not given many of the modern conveniences that we have, but they had one thing that we don't, respect.

I know that a lot of this comes from women thinking they are the same as men.  I am not going to rant and rave.  We know each have separate and defined roles.  They compliment each other and work together.  The respect that I am referring to is the simple, kind courtesies one human being offers another.  Mainly men having respect for women -strangers and acquaintances a like.

Yes, I do get the occasional door held open for me at the grocery store, but there are so many other pleasantries that our culture no longer practice.  I love to be around my Grandpa Olsen for that reason.  It makes me feel special when he stands if I enter of leave a room, or makes sure I go through a door way first.  It's the tip of the hat and other signs of respect that let you know that someone recognizes you and is aware.

I once heard a story (I think it was in an email) about a professor and a female student.  When the girl got on the man tipped or removed his hat.  She asked why he would do that because they were equals.  He then explains to her all the reasons why - the included respect for the creation of life, protection he would offer if needed, etc. etc.  It was a very touching explanation.  I looked for it but was unable to find it.  Any way - the girl left feeling honored to be female and not like she had something to prove.  It was very powerful to me.

We were visiting in the common area with Darin's parent's today.  It was later in the evening and Myra was fussy.  I was standing with her because every time I sat, she tried to get away.  I twas just walking around the room a bit, keeping her happy.

Now, you have to remember that everyone who is a resident is there because they aren't able to care for themselves at this point in their life.  A man saw me standing, and walked over too me.  Now, you must understand that is took him a minute or so because it was such an effort to walk.  He was walking, but it was a physical challenge for him.  He came over to where I was standing and asked me (In very broken sentences with slurred speech) If I wanted to sit down - or move a chair over to where the rest of the family was visiting.

I was so touched it was hard to tell him that I was simply standing to keep the baby happy.  He was satisfied and returned, slowly to his chair to watch Wheel of Fortune.  He went so much out of his way to make sure that I, a stranger was taken care of, because he had been taught you don't sit when any woman is standing.  Here we was struggling with his body and so much, yet still managed to be such a gentleman.  Wow - if only there were more men like this left in the world.  So if you are one (a man) practice makes perfect.  

Now - I must note that Darin still usually holds the door open for me and also for the car - unless we are loading kids in the van and stuff.  If it is a date, then he does.  It is appreciated.


Andy's Mommy said...

I just wanted to say 'Thank You' Melissa for your continued support of stopping by my blog. It really means a lot to me! I would love to see the CHD Quilt block your family was given. My family is planning on attending the heart camp, we can't wait! Thanks for being a friend, I really appreciate it.
*Heart Hugs* Amber (and Andy)

p.s. I've always thought the world needed more chivalry in it... I completely agree with you!

Sandra said...

Yes, I agree. I think some of the equality we have demanded has left men feeling that since they are equals that chivalry is no longer needed. Too sad.